Just as you thought you had your bridesmaids outfits under control, someone slips the B-ZILLA word, that dreaded cliché assuming you have turned into a to-be-wed version of Godzilla.
Maybe you genuinely acted freakish, or they simply didn’t recognize what you are going through. It is easy to label when you display uncharacteristic manners, but they may not have understood what is happening to you, why, and that you possibly even couldn’t help it!
Just like the Godzilla monster turned out to be a misunderstood creature, the Bridezilla could end up starring in her own Bridal horror wedding video, a plot full with confusion and a dark background of planning trauma, where she feels angry and threatened, ready to climb up the church tower in a furious rampage.
Let’s definitely avoid it! Jump straight to read our zilla-prevention strategies here, or scroll to read all there is to know about this mysterious creature.
Planning a wedding is a heck of a job, even with a planner. Vendors, family members and anyone even remotely involved are tugging at you at the same time. (Even myself found that strangers such as shop assistants started to give wedding advice when they saw my engagement ring.)
From all directions, people are telling you what to do, how to do it, how you should think, act, look, so it is just too easy to feel overwhelmed and constantly on the verge of bursting.
You have big decisions to make – even small ones eventually seem like they are life changing. It is a vulnerable position to be in.
After all, the anxious tendencies caused by stress are not entirely self-inflicted. One can’t help placing high expectations on the wedding day, and it can be really challenging to remain positive and stay on top at all times. You will be juggling so many balls – and you will drop one occasionally.
Unfortunately, Bride’s sometimes doesn’t get taken seriously, as the world around them is quick to assume that you’re a Bridezilla when thinking out loud about color schemes, getting distracted by potential venues whilst driving a car, or debating which videographer to hire with the postman.
During your engagement, it is normal – and even to be expected – that you will only have weddings in your mind, and occasionally forget to talk with your friends about other things, such as how they are, before launching into a monologue about your seating plan.
It is not unusual to fret about planning worries such as what department stores wedding registry to choose, or whether to book your honeymoon to the Bahamas or Mauritius. It is normal and completely OK – so please demand that people cut you some slack! Your wedding is a pretty huge thing, right?
At this level, it is unfair to label someone a monster – it’s hard mental work and consuming to make all those decisions. Your friends should be there to give you a hand, not criticize.
Getting married is an amazing life experience, so should being a Bride be, and this precious excitement needs to be treated with care.
It is a thrilling and rare time, and you are entitled to bask in the Bridal delight as much as you like.
It is extremely hurtful to be accused of being some kind of evil dragon. NO ONE wants to hear that during the most exciting few months ever.
Ask anyone: Have you ever seen a wedding checklist before? Well, if they haven’t, they don’t have the slightest idea of what you are experiencing.
As a woman, it upsets me when other women and Brides are being mocked or disrespected undeserving. Unless you know what it is like to be an arctic explorer or soldier in combat, a Bride is a human under new immense pressure in a foreign situation. It is inevitable to become insecure, prone to stress, and loose your marbles.
You will for certain experience physical fatigue, mental fatigue, decision fatigue, and multiple of levels of general confusion; as well as planning an event the size of a small festival, you are left to try to cope with your own pre-wedding anxiety.
Moreover, self doubt can do serious damage to ones general mood. You are trying to make sure that it all comes together on the wedding day at the same time as you are trying to look like the best version of yourself., sometime when trying to survive on kale salad solely. You cannot be blamed of the occasional emotional outburst.
Being a Bride might well give you the kind of performance anxiety you have never felt before. So when some one calls you a hysterical mean creature – or thinks its as easy as to “just chill” – no wonder you want to let out a frightening roar.
In my opinion, Brides deserve a lot more sympathy, space and integrity than that, and not be so easily labeled as overbearing freaks. If person who has displayed limited little ability to understand what you are going through, blurts out “stop being such a bridezilla” – in that situation, I encourage you to show them the rude finger.
If you feel you have been called a Bridezilla unfairly, ask that person to leave you alone, and come back when they feel more understanding, and able to really help.
Don’t let non-supportive people affect you negatively – you have other things to focus on. If they can’t be nice to you now, they might not deserve your attention at all.
Stay confident and stay on track. You don’t need bad vibes around you right now.
You rock, this is your moment, and you are allowed to feel strongly about your unique decor, flowers, outfits, colours and the big vision of your wedding day (because you are paying a lot for it too) so noone can tell you that you are not the BOSS around here!!!
(Your groom is too, perhaps?)
If you have found that the “bride thing” is the perfect excuse to behave like a total brat, it is time to consider behaving better or you will soon deserve that horrifying godzilla critique.
If you are shouting at your surroundings, bad-mouthing bridesmaids, bullying your groom because he wouldn’t agree on cake filling, sending abusive texts to vendors late at night, firing friends because they couldn’t help you bake 100 cookie favors – THAT is a guaranteed way get people talking behind your back, not taking you seriously anymore, and even worse: no one will want to come to your wedding as a result – maybe not even your groom.
These are people that will hopefully remain in your life for a long time – instead of nurturing long lasting friends you are perhaps busy making enemies in a situation when you actually NEED friends. Hopefully they still want to hang around, but chances are that they won’t if you have called them stupid idiots when forgetting the rose buds for the napkin rings! Don’t chase them away, and please don’t bring yourself into great embarrassment post-wedding day.
Acting like a Queen and like you are in the center of the world is what you definitely should do on your wedding day – but until then you are a pretty normal person, so try to remain your cheerful, non-aggressive and respectful self as long as possible.
As a Bride, “Grace” is a word you’d much rather get described as than “Crazed”.
If you feel like you can’t handle the stress and are on the way to throw the wedding invites on the fire instead of in the post box – this is what to do instead:
- Put the cell phone, laptop and your planning binder and to-do list away for a day, or however long it takes to not feel like you want to bang a fist into the wall.
- Delegate as much as you can so you don’t stretch the limits of what you can achieve. If you have allowance in the budget, it could be a godsend to hire a professional planner. If you don’t, ask a good friend for help. Or more simply, try to achieve less.
- Have a date-night once a week with your fiancé – no wedding talk allowed!
- Listen to what your family, friends, grooms family and others say to you (cos everyone is gonna be full of ideas and input) and at least pretend to take it on board. What you do with their opinions is up to you, but avoid arguing for the sake of making a point.
- When you meet with your friends, let them bring up the wedding as opposed to you. Try not to overwhelm them with smaller details, but ask them for their advice and practical support if you want it.
- Practice a self-care routine of exercising, daily walks, eating well, sleeping well and not subjecting yourself to too much alcohol and coffee. Occasional treats at the spa can work wonders for tense nerves, too.
- Get married how you want to, not as you think some wedding blog wants you to! This bash is 100% yours so keep it your own style – feel free to abandon those optional extras (favours, photobooth, even your wedding party) because no one will miss them, nor will you at the end of the day. It is impossible to keep up with every wedding trend and must-have decór piece, and why would you need to?
- Don’t forget to include the Groom in the decisions! He is also getting married. Give him 50% of the decision making.. oh sorry 25% then. OK – at least 15% 😉
- Don’t over-spend. Nothing keeps you up at night as heavy financial burdens. It is one day of your life – that is going to be so awesome no matter what dress you chose – save some cash for something tangible that will last, such as creating a beautiful home. Don’t begin your married life with a sense of buyers remorse.
- Crash-dieting means you will be prone to crankiness, fatigue and irritability. As you can hear, this is a recipe for total disaster.
- Take on board no more than 3 DIY projects.
- There is no such thing as “Perfect”. It is in the eye of the beholder. Lowering your expectations means your wishes are much easier to fulfill, and you will feel a whole lot more satisfied too.
- P e r s p e c t i v e.. is your mantra. You are not getting married to impress your colleagues, cousins or even your insta followers: your wedding is about committing to the love of your life, having a celebration and enjoying time with family and friends. And you will, and it will be perfect!
What you will treasure and remember the most is:
(and these moment cannot be planned for or bought for all the money in the world)