I had heard the term before, but couldn’t possibly work out what “Bridal Blues” meant. How could it be that I would sink into unhappiness after marrying the man of my dreams, celebrated the epic day together with friends and family, and seen the fruit of all the hard labor finally fall in to place?
Yes, those things are all true, but there is a darker reality too – which we will explore and get a grip on here.
It is the most magical and surreal feeling to experience that the day – which you have waited so long for – finally has materialized.
Absorbing the love surrounding you and your Groom, seeing how handsome and loving he is today, and the indescribable joy of seeing his face at the altar.
You feel like royalty in your hair and dress. Everyone is smiling, you are stunning, and the party is all about YOU.
You have the blast of a lifetime, you check in to an amazing wedding night hotel, and although hungover, you wake up feeling the happiest you have ever been.
Then you are whisked off to the most romantic and luxurious holiday in your life.
So why does this blues happen? Aren’t you supposed to be elated that everything went so well, that you are not stressing out about your wedding anymore, and that you are now finally beginning your happily ever after?
That handsome man is yours to keep forever, now you will get serious about buying that house – and soon be making those babies too.
This is the very definition of happiness, right?
For a year, the wedding has consumed every day of your life, and now suddenly it is in the past. What might happen unexpectedly is that you feel a vacuum after the wedding has come and gone. It is almost inevitable to feel like something is missing.
There will still be congratulations and talks about the wedding for the next few weeks and months, but then this fades in to the distance. That does feel a bit sad and empty – where has all the glory gone? Is that it?
Maybe you are relieved the commotion it over, but you possibly miss the novelty of being a Bride – it does make you pretty much gain celeb status amongst your family and friends. Everyone has been so happy for you, asking questions about the wedding plans, how he proposed, how your diet was going, did you find a dress, look how beautiful your ring is, wow – isn’t it all just amazing?
Then suddenly the cheering on slowly sinks away as you turn into a “normal” person again.
After the wedding ordinary life commences. It can feel somewhat flat and dull after the Bridal stardom.
Getting back to work, sorting the laundry out, taking out the rubbish, may seem a bit gloomy after having worn the rose tinted wedding specs for a year or so.
This can be a harsh reality check!
What can I do about Post-wedding blues?
It is normal to feel a bit disinterested in other things, when the party of your life is no longer ahead of us. The key is to keep busy. This way you will deflect from the sense of void that may arise afterwards.
- Plan nice things to do. A trip to the countryside, discover a new market, start a book club with your bridesmaids.
- Maybe now is a great time to dust off your piano that you used to store your wedding DIY crafts on. Or try something new that you have always been keen to try – how about joining a course? A new sport? Blogging?
- Nurturing yourself is a great prevention of blues and depression.
During your preparations of becoming a Bride, you probably pampered and looked after yourself much more attentively than usual. Keep it up!
Stick to your exercise routine and healthy eating plan, and you will keep your Bridal beauty and confidence going forever.
- Continue to have beauty treatments and spoiling yourself to something special every now and again. A bunch of flowers, a nice handbag or a weekend away. Practicing a strong self-care routine after the wedding is as important as before.
- By all means, enjoy having time to relax in front of the telly with a bottle of Chardonnay. But don’t get stuck there – keep as active and engaged with the world as you were when planning the wedding.
- Many Brides push the limits in terms of diet and exercise in order to get slimmer for the wedding – which most likely is unsustainable in the long run.
- You might have ran yourself into the ground trying to eat perfectly and exercise 7 times a week, which could mean that after the wedding you feel like you can’t keep up anymore, and start to fall back into old habits.
- Prevent this by lowering your expectations on yourself, and don’t push yourself unnecessarily. Yes we know it is your wedding – but your sanity means more to your guests and your groom than your waist circumference!
If you think you are depressed…
- Unexplained or overwhelming sadness can be a symptom of post wedding depression. If you think you have it, the advice to follow is the same as all mental wellbeing advice:
- Keep active and dont isolate yourself.
- Seek help if you don’t feel better in 4 weeks.
- Talk to your husband, an understanding friend and family about your feelings. They will help to put it all into perspective.
- Make sure you stick to your regular routine of working, cooking, relaxing and looking after yourself.
- If you find that you suddenly don’t want to see your friends, leave the house or brush your hair, it is time to find a professional to help you come right again.
Perhaps you are mostly just feeling empty and bored in the absence of planning?
You learned what it is like to have a gazillions thing on the go at the same time, so use that skill to make other ambitions happen.
Start a project, reconnect with friends you didnt have much time to see during your engagement, volunteer, do something that you always enjoyed that you forgot about, or explore a brand new thing. By creating a new hobby or pasttime you can fill up the void that the wedding left.
How about carrying on with the dance classes you took to master the First dance?
You possibly got so into wedding preparations that you discovered a new passion. Maybe you realized that you are a talented DIYer or stationery designer.
Why not start a little side business? Make and sell those cast concrete succulent favours on markets, or the pretty bridesmaids necklaces on Etsy.
If you are missing the actual planning of a wedding – there is always the possibility to become a wedding planner yourself, and help other Brides to plan theirs!
A great way to re live your wedding is by gathering your memories in writing, objects and your favorite photos and create a beautiful “My Wedding Day” folder that you can cherish for the rest of your and your husbands lives.
Include engagement photos and wedding planning memories, photos from your wedding dress shopping trips, bachelorette and bridal shower where you describe your bridal journey and all the activities around it.
This will be a treasured keepsake for the future, where you process your memories and make sure all positive moments are remembered and enjoyed again and again.
PS. You will be a Bride inside for as long as you want to – and isn’t it soon time to start planning your vow renewal, anyway? 😉