The hidden secrets of Bridezilla

Just as you thought you had your escort cards under control, someone slips the B-ZILLA word,  that unflattering cliché  suggesting you have turned into an engaged version of Godzilla. 

It may be easy to label when someone who behaves uncharacteristically, but they may not have understood what is happening to you, why, and that you possibly even couldn’t help it! Maybe you genuinely acted freakish, OR they simply didn’t recognize what you are going through.

In today’s post we will be explaining the darker secrets of this misunderstood creature, so read on for all the answers you have been looking for!

Even if you have a wedding planner, planning a wedding is a heck of a job, and the anxiety and stress are not entirely self-inflicted. Vendors, family members and anyone even remotely involved are tugging at you at the same time. Wedding days come with pressure and when comparing to all the fabulous weddings on social media, it is quite impossible to not feel like you have to live up to the many bridal ideals.

One can’t help placing high expectations on the wedding day, and it can be really challenging to remain positive and stay on top at all times. You will be juggling so many balls – and one will fall to the floor once in a while.

Unfortunately, Bride’s sometimes won’t be taken seriously enough, as people are too quick to assume that you’re a Bridezilla when thinking out loud about wedding related worries.

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Photo: Katie Harmsworth

During your engagement, it is normal – and even to be expected –  that you will only have weddings in your mind, and occasionally forget to talk with your friends about other things other than your wedding.
It is not unusual to fret about planning worries. It is normal and completely OK – so please demand that people cut you some slack! Your wedding is a pretty huge thing, right?

At this level, it is unfair to label someone a monster – it’s hard mental work and consuming to make all those decisions. Your friends should be there to give you a hand, not criticize.

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Savannah Miller

Getting married is an amazing life experience, so should being a Bride be, and this precious excitement needs to be treated in a delicate and compassionate way. It is a thrilling and rare time, and you are entitled to bask in the Bridal delight as much as you like.

As a woman, it upsets me when other women and Brides are being mocked or disrespected undeservingly. Bride is a human under new immense pressure in a foreign situation. It is inevitable to become insecure, prone to stress, and loose your marbles.

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Lola Varma
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Photo: Jennifer Stenglein

Being a Bride might well give you the kind of performance anxiety you have never felt before. So when some one calls you hysterical – or thinks it is possible to “just chill” – no wonder you want to let out a frightening roar.

Ask anyone: Have you ever seen a wedding checklist before? Well, if they haven’t,  they don’t have the slightest idea of what you are experiencing.

It is extremely hurtful to be accused of being some kind of evil dragon. NO ONE wants to hear that during what is supposed to be the most exciting few months in your life.

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Bo & Luca

Brides deserve a lot more empathy and integrity than that, and to not immediately be labeled as overbearing freaks.

If you feel you have been called a Bridezilla unfairly, ask that person to leave you and your wedding alone for a while, and come back when they feel more understanding, and able to support. This person has displayed limited ability to understand what you are experiencing and might not see how important your wedding is to you!

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L’eto

Avoid letting non-supportive people affect you – there are many other pressing matters that need your focus now. If they can’t be nice to you during this challenging time, they might not deserve a wedding invite, after all!

Stay confident and stay on track. You don’t need bad vibes around you right now. You rock, this is your moment, and you are allowed to feel strongly about your unique decor, flowers, dress and the big vision of your wedding day. No-one can tell you that you are not the BOSS around here – because you are paying a lot for it too!

BUT…

If you have found that the “bride thing” is the perfect excuse to behave like a total brat, it is time to consider behaving better or you will soon deserve that horrifying godzilla critique.
If you are shouting at your surroundings, bad-mouthing bridesmaids, bullying your groom because he wouldn’t agree on cake filling, sending abusive texts to vendors late at night, firing friends because they forgot their “bride tribe” slippers at home on your bachelorette weekend – THAT is a guaranteed way get people not taking you seriously anymore, and even worse: no one will want to come to your wedding as a result – maybe not even your groom.

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Galia Lahav

These are people that will hopefully remain in your life for a long time – instead of nurturing long lasting relationship, you are perhaps making enemies at a time you need their friendship. Hopefully they still want to hang around, but chances are that they won’t if you have called them stupid idiots! Don’t chase them away, and don’t bring yourself into great embarrassment post-wedding day.

Acting like a Queen and like you are in the center of the world is what you definitely should do on your wedding day – but until then you are a pretty normal person, so try to remain your cheerful, non-aggressive and respectful self as long as possible.
As a Bride, “Grace” is a word you’d much rather get described as than “Crazed”.

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Valentino

 

 

Editor

Jo Malin created this blog for modern couples who yearns for the extraordinary. Based on her sheer love of transparent planning advice, artful styling and contemporary bridal looks, she writes for the freedom of getting married the way you want. When she is not editing the blog, you can find her sketching and sewing for the new label Sheer Bride, vintage shopping, building a ceramic sculpture or walking on the beach.

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