5 engagement ring mistakes that groom-to-be’s should avoid

It’s a wonderful feeling to look into the eyes of your significant other and realize that she’s the one. Everyone has the revelation at slightly different times, but you’ll definitely know when it hits – that feeling of confidence and certainty, trusting that this is the person you know you want to spend the rest of your life together with.
Along with this profound awareness, you also understand that it is time to put a ring on it!
Evorden

You might only have scraped the surface of ring design, or already realized that there is literally a million different options available. Choosing an engagement ring can almost be as nerve-wracking as proposing (and know you get an idea of what your finace will have to endure when shopping for a wedding dress!) and no prospective groom wants to get down on one knee and pop the question only to see their beloved’s doubtful expression at the sight of an underwhelming ring. She is supposed to wear this for a long time and show lots of people, so make sure you take your time to consider your purchase well.

As such, you should steer clear of these all-too-common engagement rink mistakes that a unnecessary number of grooms still make even in modern times.

Read on and we will point them out – we want to help you find the best gem for your fiance.

RELATED

Mistake #1: Getting the wrong ring size for your fiances finger

You could be forgiven for thinking that diamond engagement rings are much of a muchness, and all you need to do is ensure that you get the size right (something that not everyone manages to do). The engagement ring can be a source of wedding pitfalls before you’ve even begun planning your big day.

HOW TO GET THE RIGHT RING SIZE WITHOUT ASKING FIRST

There are two ways you can do this without spoiling the surprise. The way to get the most accurate fit is to secretly borrow a ring from her jewelry collection that you already know fits her well. Discreetly pop it back once the jeweler has established the correct measurements.

If you think she wont notice a ring gone missing, simply try a ring you know fits on your own finger when she is not in the same room, and make a mark where the ring fits. At the jeweler, you try the rings at the same place to find out which one fits her well.

This is a lot easier than trying to wrap the measuring tape around her finger in her sleep, we promise!

A bigger ring can be harder to adjust than if the ring is too small, so it is pretty important to be in the right range. If it is too small it will be painful to wear – something you’d want to spare your beloved from!

Mistake #2: Failing to establish an engagement ring budget

She will undoubtedly laugh, cry and do her signature boogie dance (make sure to have the cell phone camera at the ready) when she is asked the question – the ring will add and prolong the enjoyment – so naturally you’d want to see your beloved to be nothing but amazed when she sees her ring for the first time.


When you don’t set a clear budget, you can leave yourself vulnerable to overspending on an over-the-top ring. Whilst this is well-intended, it can end up getting stressful. The old rule of thumb is that it is normal to spend around 3 months’ salary on a ring – but in such economically unpredictable times as these, that might not be sensible. Based on your circumstances work out what you can realistically afford and go from there. There are many budget friendly options (some which are listed here) and not every girl “needs” a diamond and will be happy with a moissanite, sapphire or another gem that suits her personality better.

You -and only you- can decide what is a realistic amount to spend. You might be working hard to pay the shiny rock off, when you know you soon will have big ticket purchases to make when planning the wedding and honeymoon.

Remember, she will not say more “yes” because the ring is more expensive!

Mistake #3: Rushing your engagement ring decision

Like any big purchase, you should take your time when choosing an engagement ring. You may have a strong emotional reaction to one ring in particular… but do make sure to look around in a few places before committing.  Make sure to ask many questions and find out as much as possible from each jeweler about their specific styles. Be open minded and you will learn a lot! When making such a significant purchase, it is considered normal practice that the boutique offer you a professional consultation with a expert who can walk you through the diamond selection process and answer any questions you have. Make sure you have brought a note book and pen as you do want to remember the different offerings when you sleep on your decision.

Take your time, carry out as much research as you have time with, most importantly research HER style preferences try and get a clear idea of her existing tastes in jewelry.

Choose only when you know unequivocally that you’ve made the right decision. 

The Kitcheners Photo

Mistake #4: Choosing a ring setting at random

Do your homework when it comes to the stone/s in the ring, its origin (your future bride will feel even better about her ring knowing its ingredients are is ethically sourced) and what the metal that the ring itself will be made from, if it contains any mixed metals, and the specifiec color.


But before you commit, spare a moment to think about the setting. Not only will this impact on the look of the ring, it could impact on her comfort and even her ability to do carry out tasks. Take a look at her existing rings and try to find out what setting they use (bezel, prong etc.). If you haven’t seen her wearing many rings, try discreetly asking some of her friends and / or family members for advice. 

Sarah Ho

Mistake# 5: Not being able to distinguish a Baguette from a Marquise

It is not only the carat (size) that determines the price tag of a diamond, but also how it is cut. The more facets, the bigger the price tag. So when choosing the shape, to some extent it might be according to taste, but also how much you can afford, and how much you think you want your fiance wants her ring to sparkle – as the more facets, the more light the diamond reflect.

The most expensive diamond cut is the round brilliant – it has the most facets which require more precision work, and diamond cutters have to shave away of the diamond in the process of cutting, so you essentially pay for a larger stone than you end up with.

Ignoring the 4 c’s

The 4 C’s in diamond rings are Carat, Clarity, Color and Cut. Every diamond is unique, and there are a variety of factors which affect the price of a diamond. Focus on those factors most important to you, and choose a diamond that satisfies your individual standards for beauty and value. This might be a very different diamond than someone else with a similar budget would choose. In your quest for the perfect ring, keep the 4 C’s in mind as they vary in budget, quality and personal preference.

And lastly – the ultimately best tip for finding the right engagement ring:

The secret weapon that solves all ring-dilemmas: LET HER (OR HIM) CHOOSE!

Yes, that is right. These are modern times and modern women are not concerned with traditions, but they might have a really good idea of what she wants and secretly wishes for. Many jewelry outlet will actually offer a “spoof” ring – a ring you purchase for the purpose of proposing. A plain, typical, middle of the road ring, that you will then bring back and trade it in for a ring that SHE chooses herself. You might even treat her to a budget to custom make her own ring and personalize to her heart extent. She might have a really specific taste which you still haven’t quite figured out – this option will definitely give you peace of mind, and her lots of freedom.

As stressful as it may seem at times, please also try to enjoy shopping for that perfect ring! Don’t rush the process, and go with your gut instinct once you have established the facts.
Remember that it’ll all be worth it in that beautiful moment when she sees it for the first time.

Sheena Shahanigan Photography
Editor

Jo Malin created this blog for modern couples who yearns for the extraordinary. Based on her sheer love of transparent planning advice, artful styling and contemporary bridal looks, she writes for the freedom of getting married the way you want. When she is not editing the blog, you can find her sketching and sewing for the new label Sheer Bride, vintage shopping, building a ceramic sculpture or walking on the beach.