Shopping for a wedding dress is one of the pivotal moments in your journey as a Bride, a time filled with anticipation and excitement. Finding it is a very special moment and it seems natural to share it with as many as possible. But before inviting anybody other than your closest girlfriend you need to consider a few things first!
The more chefs…
Even though it is nice to have every bridesmaid and family member along, you need to consider that the bridal shop will start to feel crammed and opinions more and more divided.
A wedding dress purchase is an emotional subject and even close friends might become opinionated or harsh. You can expect some of competition as well – each guest wants to be the one that finds the special dress!
Family members – moms in particular- often overestimate of how much their opinion should matter. If you think your mom is in the risk zone, be clear on what the boundaries are in advance. If she suggests can pick the dress because she is paying for it, have a firm discussion with her to stop this kind of black-mailing!
Shopping for your dress is a delicate matter, why it is good to avoid distractions. You want to stay as positive and level-headed as possible. Being overwhelmed by interpersonal dynamics is the last thing you want to worry about.
Listen to your own voice first
Remember that you are not buying a dress to please your guests. There are many dresses to choose from – and there will be good and bad aspects in each – why it is important to listen carefully to what you like first. The first insights will lead you faster to the right gown. Nobody else can interpret it better than you, and you might need more than a few moments to realize. You need some head space and enough time to reflect on it as well.
Get to know your Inner Bride
Lets firstly define the difference between You and your Inner Bride. Your wedding is an opportunity to embody a couture dream. To buy a dress based on your ordinary wardrobe may not be aligned with the intentions you have with your wedding. Whilst we always recommend to stay true to your personality, no one can assume it is something easy to predict by superficial means.
In order for someone to give you useful advise on a wedding dress, they would need to know more about your Inner Bride. Only you can figure out, and you’d have to try a few dresses before you know, and then have communicated this to your guests. So when one of your guests tells you that this dress is so -You-, ask yourself if your Inner Bride agrees first and foremost.
You need only the advise which is relevant for your wedding
Some of your guests may have never worn a wedding dress, or it perhaps it was some time ago. Either way, it was their style of wedding. Their opinions will be based on different experiences and preferences than yours.
Your already married guests may not know about current fashion, meaning they would advise against a square neckline because when they got married it was all about V neck. Those puff sleeves might be counter intuitive to someone who got married 4 years ago and still insists on thin straps (these gowns are still gorgeous though – but you get what I mean!)
Allow yourself the opportunity to hear yourself think clearly before anyone any can do it for you
As well as navigating through lots of dresses that all seem good in their own way, the final decision is highly personal. With too many guests in the room, chances are that you are unable verbalize your opinion, or in worst scenario – your own opinion becomes overshadowed.
Don’t be pressured into a rash decision. If your entourage all tear up in jubilation, will you have the willpower to disagree?
Even if a person seem reasonably composed and positive, it is still hard for anyone to not their personal opinions dictate. That is why it is recommended to not bring too many opinions along – one or two is the right amount.
Some who knows you extremely well, might not be better at supporting. What matters the most is that they stand by your side.
How to achieve the right balance
Who do you bring with you to help you make this crucial decision? Only the closest few that you trust support you unconditionally and genuinely want to see you happy.
- The trick is to bring the right people – and not too many of them.
- Let them know what you are looking for before the appointment.
- Make them aware of what you like and the maximum you want to spend. Your entourage need to respect the limit you have set for your budget as to not choose a “much better dress for you” that you love but can’t afford.
Not bringing someone doesn’t mean they are less important to you. It is simply that you need to be selective and choose the appropriate support.
It is all about having the best vibes for the intention. They are their to support your thought process, not to stoke it. Take them along for their optimism, and not as the decision making team.
Your wedding dress is gonna be a gown you will remember forever. At any rate, let shopping for your wedding dress be an intimate, uncomplicated and joyous time.